Finding safety in the ruins
by Asta B
Summary: Eleanor loves her life. James hates his life. They are not aware that everything will change, intertwining their lives strongly together. Can they overcome troubles, learn from mistakes and get rid of old habits to find the safety in the ruins of their old lives? / Read & Review. My first story. Rated T for future chapters. FIRST CHAPTER RE-WRITTEN.
1. 00 Eleanor

_**I do not own Harry Potter.**_

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**xx00xx  
****Eleanor**

My life is not perfect, someone could even say it's lacking, but I love it. I was raised by single mother. She never dated, and even if she did, she never brought a man home so I didn't really have a father figure. My grandparents weren't part of my life either. My mum and her parents had a huge fight when she was eighteen and run away with Finnish guy, who was three years older than her. That man is not my father.

When my mum was sixteen, she met Antti, who was studying in London. They fell madly in love with each other, but my grandparents didn't approve of that relationship. They didn't try to break their relationship. They thought they will break up when Antti will return to Finland, but that never happened. And that's when my mum's and her parents's relationship went really ugly, so she decided to run away with Antti. They ended up living together happily in small city for three years, before the tragedy happened.

Mum landed a job as a nurse in local hospital and Antti was working in a small company. Finally, after three years of living together, mum found out that she was pregnant. They decided on a date for a wedding. But it was never meant to happen. Week before a wedding he died in a car accident. In her pain and sorrow, my mum lost the child, too. Her parents wanted to make her come home, but she didn't agree. _I want to stay here, where he died_, she had told them.

All that I had to put together as a puzzle. We didn't talk much about them, Antti and the unborn child. On those rare times, when she talked about them, I saw in her eyes that she still loved Antti and the pain was still there. I knew that her love for Antti was a reason why there was no other man in her life. Though, I did learn about Antti when I was fourteen.

I used to ask often about my father. Everytime that I asked about him, my mum send me away to my room. I got the picture that she didn't want to talk about it. But I was curious, so I kept asking. And finally I got some kind of answer from her. He was a summer fling. A mistake. Nothing more, she had said annoyed. I had cried then. If he was a mistake, was I a mistake, too? It took her three days, and a trip to amusement park, to convince me that I was no mistake. At least, luckily for her, I stopped asking about my father.

I was shy kid, still am. I used to be scared to talk to a worker at the shop, if I needed something. It has gotten better now, but I am still shy to do that, not mentioning starting conversation with strangers.

I was short for my age. I was not really short, just shorter than most of my classmates and people I know. I still am short, but as I said I am not that short. I am 5'2. My mum always says that I should not worry about my height. _Maybe you are short, but think about it as an advantage. I mean, you can date quite short guy and wear high heels not being afraid to end up longer that the guy_, she laughed. But in a way she was right.

I wasn't skinny kid, still aren't. I wouldn't call myself fat, just not skinny. I would never become a model with my body, if you forget about my height that is. Of course I could get skinnier with working out, and diets, but it was just not for me. I wasn't that athletic. In fact, I am pretty clumsy when it comes to sports, all kind of sports.

All those things combined were reason why I didn't manage to make many friends, when I started school at the age of seven. Yes, we start school in Finland at that age. Anyway, I didn't have real friends in my school, but I was civil with most of them. It was mostly the boys who teased me about being so shy and short. I didn't really mind, because I had Sara.

Sara is our neighbour. She is the same age as I am, a month younger. We grew up together. When I went to school, I expected her to come with me, but imagine my surprise when she didn't. I asked her about that. She bit her lip and looked torn. I'm home schooled, she said not looking at me. That's why I know she lied to me. I didn't ask her about that again. I know she must have had good reason to lie to me.

Anyway, all that I told until this moment, was my life until the summer I turned eleven. There was several things that changed when I turned eleven. Things, that changed my life completely, gave it another direction. In fact, those things happened mostly on the same day.

On one warm and sunny summer day, there was a knock on our door. _I'll open it_, I shouted to my mum running to the door. When I opened it, Sara's mother, Annika, was standing there. She wasn't alone. There was a tall man with grey eyes and platinum blond hair. _He looks just like me_, I thought. When my mum saw the man, she became so pale that I thought she will faint. Soon I learned that the man was Draco Malfoy and he was my father.

I also learned about a world I was to be part of. That world was well hidden inside of the world I used to believe was the only one. It was world of magic. Yes, _magic_. You see, my dad was a wizard and that made me a witch. My mum wasn't a witch, she was a muggle, person who wasn't a witch or wizard. My dad being pure blood, wizard who didn't have any muggle blood in his blood, and my mum muggle, it made me half-blood.

At first I was shocked. I know that this one summer, when I was six, I made all butterflies that I touched die. It was strange. But that I was a witch? It was hard to believe, but after few simple spells, levitating objects and turning spoon into butterfly, I believed it It was hard not to. I took it fine, but my mum? Mum couldn't believe in it even after _four hours_. But when we finally made her believe that she wasn't going crazy, we faced a new problem.

All witches and wizards went to wizarding school at age of eleven, I wasn't expectation. I was invited to study at Durmstrang institute, which was located somewhere in Norwegian or Swedish Lapland, and it was boarding school. When my mum heard that, she almost had an heart attack. _Norway?! How can I send my child to _boarding school in Norway_?! All alone_, she asked terrified. Part of me was excited about that, and part of me wanted to stay with my mum. _All the wizarding schools are boarding schools. If you don't want to send her to Durmstrang, we can send her to Hogwarts in Scotland or Beauxbatons in France_, Mr. Malfoy had said calmly. That made my mum shut up about sending me to Norway, or Sweden, wherever that school was.

_She wouldn't be alone_, Annika said. Me and my mum looked at her, puzzled. _What do you mean_,I had asked. _Sara is starting her studies in Durmstrang, too_, she had answered with a smile. And so I got my answer why Sara had lied to me about home schooling. She was pure blood witch and her parents had decided that she won't attend muggle school. It made me happy to know that I would have my best friend in new school and that I wouldn't be forced to _lie _to her.

After that Annika had left leaving Mr. Malfoy to talk to us about. I learned that I had older brother, only three months older, but still older. His name was Scorpius and he was starting his studies at Hogwarts. Mr. Malfoy also told that he would really appreciate if I kept it a secret, that he was my father. His family already know about me and I would be invited to spend few weeks next summer at their place getting to know them, that is if my mum would let me. _We'll talk about that later_, my mum had said. I promised not to tell anyone, not even to Sara, and we said our goodbyes.

September 1st I started my studies at Durmstrang. At first it was overwhelming, but with Sara's help I got used to everything really fast. I started to enjoy my classes and my grades were pretty good, almost perfect. The fact that Durmstrang was teaching dark arts made me uncomfortable at the beginning, but after talking many nights with Sara, I had decided to think about it as an advantage against those who study in other schools.

I also learned about Wizarding War, that was raging in the wizarding world not so long ago. This man, Tom Riddle, called himself Lord Voldemort and he wanted to kill all muggle borns, half bloods and muggles. He wanted only for pure bloods to live. He was really, really sick man. He was killed by Harry Potter and the war ended. Now he was a hero and his children were some sort of celebrities. Oh, the useless sort of celebrities, I had commented to Sara who had laughed and agreed with me.

But what was shocking was that my father's family had been Tom Riddle's followers. It made me feel sick, to be related to them, so I didn't write to him for months. It was really hard, because I couldn't tell Sara anything about my feelings. It was my mum, who made me promise to give him and his family a chance to show me that they were different. I guess he had written to my mum and asked her to talk to me. And so, during the summer holidays I spend two weeks with them. And I don't regret that.

I became really good friends with Scorpius almost immediately. We got over the fact that I was Draco Malfoy's bastard and that he was a cheater. I also grew to have really amazing relationship with my father. Only Astoria, my father's wife, didn't like me much. Who could blame her? I wouldn't be happy if my husband would bring home his bastard. But she tried to be civil with me and I appreciated that. _I am doing this for my husband and son, not you_, she had said and I had nodded in agreement.

My second year was better than first. I made more friends and I was able to enjoy my studies even more. I even managed to get perfect grades, which made my mum really proud of me. I wrote to Scorpius every week. I told him things I couldn't tell Sara, and he told me thing he couldn't tell anyone. We were each other's secrets. Over the summer I learned about his best friend, Albus Potter, Harry Potter's son, but in his letters he told me how much it tore him to see Al miserably. The reason for his friends misery was James Sirius Potter, his older brother who seemed to hate him because Al was Slytherin and Scor's friend. It hurt me to feel my brothers pain. Without knowing it, I started to despise James Sirius Potter and that feeling gre stronger with the years.

In my third year, I found what I wanted to do. I always wanted to follow in my mother's footsteps and become a nurse or doctor. I want to be healer, I told Sara who plastered wide smile on her face. Me too, she had said and since then we started to work our way and schedules towards our dream.

On christmas holidays in my fourth year I was invited to spend holidays at Malfoy manor. At first my mum didn't want to let me go for christmas, but then she was tied up in hospital so she agreed. During those two weeks I med Albus Potter. It was incident no one planned. On christmas eve he just appeared in Malfoy Manor, all angry. He had had fight with James, a huge one. So we kind of were forced to tell him who I was. He was really surprised, who wouldn't, but he agreed not to tell anyone. Because of that I was allowed to tell everything to Sara, if I was one hundred percent sure that she wouldn't tell anyone.

Second part of fourth year and fifth year were much easier as I didn't need to lie to Sara anymore. I wrote to Scorpius and Al every week and my brother had told that Al was just a little bit happier now, having one more friend that his brother didn't make fun of. Christmas holiday in fifth year I, Sara, Scorpius and Al spent at our house. It was really fun and all four of us became good friends.

I was really excited about coming summer holidays, as I was to spend half of them with Sara at Malfoy Manor and second half of the holidays boys would have spend with us. But it was never meant to happen.

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**Okay, this was the first introducing chapter. There will be one more and then the actual story will begin.  
If someone had the time to find my periods story, Two Lives of Eleanor Maria Kerr, yes, this is the same story, but with a bit of changes. I actually saw a dream where I wrote this story about this way and when I woke up I just had to change my story, lol. I hope it was decision for better lol **  
**And I hope you liked it.  
****I apologize, if there was awful mistakes, tired to get rid of everything, but you never know...  
If you did like, I guess you could leave at least some kind of review, I would love that. I would love to know your opinion :) Hehe.**

_- Asta B._


	2. 00 James

_**I do not own Harry Potter.**_

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**xx00xx  
James **

When I was a kid, I enjoyed flying on the broom with my family and play quidditch. I did it because I liked it, not because I needed to do it. I loved the feeling of a broom underneath me and the wind blowing against my face. I enjoyed it, but I did not want to do it all my life, make a career out of it. No. I looked up to my dad, he was an auror and I wanted to follow in his footsteps, to become an amazing auror who would put bad wizards and witches into Azkaban.

Once in a while it was nice to do something stupid and silly with my best friend and cousin Fred Something like prank my brother or sister. All of our cousins got pranked at some point. Or even the adults. We didn't do anything really stupid. Just spiders in Lily's shoes, that kind of stuff. But by no means I loved pranking more than my life or wanted to do be know as the best prankster of the generation, it was Fred's dream to live up to his father's and late uncle's names.

I loved my family, but it is big and when everyone is in one place, it is really noisy. I have two siblings and _nine_ cousins. That's just those who are related by blood. There are also children of close family friends. So, when it became too much for me, I hid in my room with a book in my hand. I loved reading, I enjoyed it. I started to read books on my own the moment I learned to read and I learned to read at the age of four. Books in our library run fast short on what I haven't read, so I asked aunt Hermione to help me and she happily started to supply me with books, mostly muggle ones. I_t's good for you to know about muggle world_, she said and I didn't really mind. I enjoyed to read them.

Back then, I had no idea about the expectations that our wizarding community had for me. Of course I never had any twisted thoughts about who I was. I always knew that I was James Sirius Potter, first born child of Harry Potter. I also knew that I was named after my grandfather, James Potter, and my dad's godfather, Sirius Black and that they were the pranksters of their generation. I was used to the attention of the press. But I had no idea that this community wouldn't accept anything else than what they expected, what they wanted.

And back then, I had no idea that what they expected wasn't what I wanted. It all hit me hard when I started my seven years in Hogwarts. Place, that was like home for almost everyone, became place I hated the most.

I was sorted into Gryffindor, not that I expected something else. Though aunt Hermione had joked once that with my love for books I would be sorted into Ravenclaw. In the truth even if I would have been sorted into _Slytherin_, I wouldn't have minded. It's just a house and the sorting hat knew what it was doing. But all the '_Of course Harry Potter's son would have been sorted into Gryffindor'_ got to me. Why they care? It's my life, not theirs, those were my thoughts. Luckily, those comments died soon, but as soon as that happened, new ones were born. And those hit me even harder.

_Why are you in the library?  
Why are you studying?  
Why do you have perfect grades?  
Why aren't you on the quidditch field, training for next year?  
You are going to try out for Quidditch, right?  
Why aren't you doing pranks with Freddy? _

I tried to ignore those comments. I really tried. And soon I learned not to hear them. It was my life and I would live it the way I want, I told myself. And so I did. For half a year. Then the reality found me once again. Not in school this time. _At our dinner table, in my own house._

_They say you are strange kid, _my father laughed._  
At least he was sorted into Gryffindor, _uncle Ron said._  
We gave him wrong name, _my mother pointed out.  
_Are you really a Potter?_

That was what made me feel sick, not the comments made by strangers at the school, but my own family's comments. I could ignore the stranger's comments, I could learn not to hear them, but I couldn't do that with my family's comments. _Wasn't I allowed to be my own person_?

_Don't mind them. Of course you are Potter, but that doesn't make you. You are your own person. You are the one who will decide what kind of person James Sirius Potter will be. Not who your father is, not who your grandfather was. You. Remember that, my dear,_ aunt Hermione said one night to me. Those words helped me to get through the christmas holidays, there was someone who supported me. Maybe other will support me with time.

When I came back to Hogwarts, I couldn't ignore anymore the comments made to my face with the comments that were whispered behind my back. When I heard those comments, I saw my family saying those words to me. I started to hide as much as possible, spend as little time with others as I could, but that didn't kill the agony inside of me.

By the end of the first year, I was completely torn inside. I was torn between what I wanted and what others expected from me. I spent almost the whole summer in my room, not reading, just laying on my bed, hiding from everyone. I didn't even touch my broom. For some odd reason no one in my family found it strange. _He must be studying_, Fred laughed and everyone agreed with him.

Only aunt Hermione suspected something. One day, she knocked on my door. I let her in, surprising myself, but then, she had been the only one who supported me. And I told her everything that bothered me and she listened. Before she left, I asked her not to tell anyone, not even my parents. There was sadness and worry in her eyes, but she nodded. She kept her word. She gave me strength to make it through the summer and got to Hogwarts for the second year.

But second year changed it all.

Albus, my little brother, was sorted in Slytherin. He became friends with Scorpius Malfoy. And no one cared, no one judged him. After all, h_e was named after Severus Snape_, they said. That finally got me and broke me. My brother could be his own person, but I couldn't. My brother was allowed to be whatever he wanted but I wasn't. Slowly, I started to hate my brother. Everyone around me thought that I hated him because he was a _Slytherin_ and friends with _Malfoy_. I let them. For the first time _I didn't care_. I saw that Albus was hurt, we used to be close before this. But again, _I didn't care_.

I tried out for the Quidditch, I made the team as chaser. Fred made the team too, as a beater. I became more closer with Fred. By closer I mean I started to do pranks with him. We pranked everyone, students and professors. Mostly we pranked Slytherins, which did support everyone's belief that I hated Slytherins. I stopped studying, let my grades flunk and I spend at least one weekend in a month in a detention.

When I came home for summer holidays after second year, my mum tried to talk me about my attitude towards my brother. For whole year I didn't speak to him, and if I had spoken to him, it was mostly insults. My dad talked to me about how I shouldn't hate Slytherins. I let them all think I hated Slytherins and Al because he was one. Other than that, everyone was proud of me making the team and being excellent at Quidditch. Only aunt Hermione gave me from time to time worried and sad looks. It made me feel bad, but I ignored the feeling. _They got what they wanted_, I shouted to her in my head, but kept silent.

Third year came and I learned about my fanclub. At first it made me feel sick, thought about girls dreaming about me, I wasn't in the age to care about the girls, yet. My and Fred's pranks became more serious and dangerous and now I spend almost all weekends in detention. My hate towards Al grew stronger as he made the Slytherin team as a seeker. _I play for fun, but I will become an auror_, he said and everyone agreed that he should follow in his dad's footsteps. _The Quidditch career is for James_.

Following summer my parents started to worry about my grades and my detentions. Aun Hermione tried to talk to me, but I tried to avoid her as much as I could. One evening she got me cornered. James, what are you doing, she asked. I was silent. This is not you, she said. I still didn't say anything to her. James, you should talk to your parents, she almost shouted. I do not need to do that. And you promised not to tell the, I reminded her and run away. The sadness in her eyes made me feel sick. But I swallowed the feeling and forced myself to ignore it.

At the beginning of fourth year I learned that girls were interested in me only because I was James Sirius Potter, not because I was James. I was surprised to learn that it didn't make me feel as sick as I thought it would. They want to use me, who shouldn't I use them, I thought with hatred. And so I did, use the girls. I flirted with every girl I could, and I was in a relationships that I was not committed to, so they were quite short, few months was the most girls could take my 'cheating'.

My sister, Lily, who was sorted into Gryffindor, and Al were disgusted by my behaviour. It sting a bit, but I learned quickly to ignore the feeling. Pranks became even more serious and sometimes people got hurt. My parents were called to school at least once in a month. I even started to hate Lily. Why? Why would I hate my little sister that once I love more than my life? _Because she got perfect grades and everyone praised her for was also allowed to be her own person. _That's why I started to hate her, too. It hurt her like hell, I could see it, but I didn't care, not anymore.

I think the summer between fourth and fifth year was the summer when my parents realized what I had been and what I have become. They started to really worry. But it was already too late for me to care, to go back the way I use to be. After four years of trying, I finally had managed to turn my heart into stone.

On my fifth year my relationships started to be short, I barely made through the classes and my parents basically lived in McGonagall's office. My relationship with my sister and brother? We didn't talk at all. With Lily being on the team with me as a keeper, it became obvious to everyone that my relationships with my siblings were trash. In fact, only cousin I got along with was Fred, but he too was starting to be worried about me. I didn't give a shit.

My fifth year was also the year when my parents gave up. In my head, I laughed hard. They gave up without even trying. Only aunt Hermione tried to talk to me, talk some sense into me. _They got what they wanted! They all got the James Sirius Potter that they wanted_, I shouted at her and after that she didn't try to talk to me.

On my sixth year I didn't do relationships anymore. I just purely used girls for my pleasure. I focused completely on Quidditch and pranking and girls. I got drunk and I acted like idiot. I was so close to flunk all my classes, but I didn't let that happen. Not because I cared about my studies, but because I didn't want to spend extra year in _that_ place. I was officially press's favorite boy to trash in the headlines. I didn't care.

I had mastered being asshole. I didn't believe that _anything_ in this world would have made me go back to the way I used to be, to teach me to _feel_ again. I was about to be proven wrong.

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**A/N: Okay, done with the introduction chapters, now starting to work on the actual story.  
****Reviews are appreciated. I would love to know our opinions about this story as this is the first story I am publishing here.**

_- Asta B._


	3. 01 Eleanor

**A/N: First review, yay! ^_^ I hope I won't disappoint you, whoever you are :3**

**Okay, so this is the first chapter. Hope you will like it. Oh, there will be two sentences in Finnish, you can find the translations in the end of the chapters. **

**_I do not own Harry Potter._**

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**xx01xx  
Eleanor**

"Finally home!" Sara grinned as we dragged our suitcases out of the elevator.  
"Home sweet home." I agreed with her and went left with my suitcase while Sara went right with hers. We lived on the same floor, across each other.  
"I'll see you in few hours? We will plan our trip to London then, right?" she asked as she opened her door.  
"You can't wait to leave, can you?" I asked smiling while fishing my keys from my handbag. "But yeah, sure. Mum is working the day shift, so she will be leaving for work in hour. I'll come then, okay?"  
"Perfect! I'll have time to unpack and eat before that." she closed her door leaving me smiling and shaking my head.

"Mum! I'm home!" I shouted as I closed the door behind me and put keys on the hook next to the door.  
"I'm in the kitchen, sweetie!" she shouted back. I left my suitcase in the hallway and headed to the kitchen. Halfway to the kitchen I could smell fried broccoli bites and that smell brought wide smile on my face.  
"Broccoli bites!" I shouted as I entered the kitchen and found my mum putting a plate on the dinner table. "Mum! I love you!"  
"I thought you would want a snack when you come home." she smiled and walked towards me. "Welcome home, honey."  
"Happy to be home." we hugged and she kissed me on the forehead before letting me go and disappeared in the direction of her room.

I almost rushed to the table and popped one broccoli bite in my mouth.  
"Mum!" I moaned. "This is so good. Merlin, I love you!"  
"Well, I love you too." she laughed and appeared again in the kitchen, fully ready to leave. I looked at her raising one eyebrow. She wasn't supposed to leave for an hour. "I need to leave now, sweetie."  
"But mum, I just got home and I have so much to tell you!" I pouted and stomped my feet. Sometimes I acted just like little whiny baby. My mum just rolled her eyes. It runs in the family, they eye rolling thing.  
"I know. But I need to pop into the bank before going to work. I'm sorry honey." she smiled sadly and exited the kitchen. "We'll talk tomorrow."  
"Okay." I sighed and followed her in the hallway. "See you tomorrow, mum."  
"See you sweetie. Go and have fun with Sara." she opened the door. "Don't forget to unpack."  
"I won't," I promised. When the door closed behind my mum, I rushed back to the kitchen. "But first I'll eat those yummy broccoli bites!"

After almost all broccoli bites were gone, I left the kitchen and went to my room taking the suitcase with me. It didn't take me long to unpack. With here, remember? Just few flicks of the wand and everything was on it's place. It would have taken me longer to unpack, if mum would have been home. You need to learn to do things with your hands. You can't always rely on magic, she always said. She is right, I know that, but cleaning and packing with magic is just so much more fun. So, when she isn't around, I use magic and when she is, well I do things the muggle way. I found some torn pieces of parchment, old homework as far as I could say, and went to throw them away.

"Oh, great!" I moaned as I noticed that the trash bag was full. Frustrated, I took the bag out and headed out, I had no other choice that go and throw it away. It took me two minutes to get from floor eight to the first floor and to the trash bins outside and to throw the trash bag into the bin. When I turned around, I moaned once again, but this time inside my head.  
"Just great," I whispered as I noticed my former classmates from muggle school sitting on the swings next to neighbouring apartment house. I tried to make my way to my house without them noticing me, but I wasn't that lucky.

"Look! The freak is back!" one of the boys, Jare, shouted in really bad English. That was their way to make fun of me. Talk to me in English, really bad English. I didn't really know if it really was so bad, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was. After I went to Durmstrang, I talked Finnish only in shops and places where I just couldn't talk in English. Otherwise, at home and with Sara and her family, I talked English. Most of the family friends did talk to us in English too, not counting those whose English was just too bad. No one thought it was a strange thing, seeing as my mum is from Britain, only my former classmates found it really hilarious, stupid and silly. And they didn't waste any chance to show their opinions to me or Sara.  
"I don't understand your shitty English!" I shouted to them. I knew it was a bad thing to do, it would just add the fuel to their stupid jokes, but I just didn't want to deal with them right now. I didn't look at them, I was focused on getting inside as fast as I could. Just when I was about to be inside, someone grabbed by hand and turned me around.

"No puhu sitten vittu suomee, saatanan friikki.*" another guy, Samuli, was hovering over me and smirking. I hated the guy, but I couldn't deny that he was damn cute, especially those grey pale blue eyes that went perfectly with his dirty blond hair. And he was soccer player, so he was really well build.  
"I will speak whatever language I fucking want." I wanted to sound cool and sure, but those damn eyes were distracting me. And, I could tell by the way his smirk changed, he knew what I was thinking. _Damn the hormones!_ I turned my eyes away and tried to get out of his grip. I succeeded in that, but he wasn't about to let me go.  
"I think," Samuli forced me to back up against the wall and he put his hands against the wall on both sides of my face, cutting my escape ways. Then he leaned closer to my ear, "someone has a little crush on me."

His tone was cocky and that made me mad. I tried to ignore the fact that his English was almost perfect and he seemed to have this really sweet British accent, when I pushed him away with one hard shove into his chest.  
"In your dreams, jerk." I said through gritted teeth and almost run inside. _Stupid, don't run_, I shouted to myself in my head, but I couldn't help it, I just wanted away from these idiots. I could hear their laugh while running up the stairs.

"I can't believe they still do it! That's like childish, so childish!" Sara said angrily. She was standing next to the window watching my former classmates while I was sitting in the middle of her room, on a fluffy green carpet and looking through different muggle fashion magazines. Sara loved them, I just didn't have anything else to do while she was on her stalking mission. It had been like this for the whole time I was here, for a bit over than half an hour to be exact.  
"There are bitches in Durmstrang, too", I rolled my eyes. "There will always be bunch of bitches no matter where you are."  
"But still!" she gave me look full of rage. These things made Sara more angry than me. I guess I just was already used to it and learned to ignore those idiots, most of the time. Sara, well she just couldn't let it go, no matter how many times I asked her to do it.

"Just look at them!" she exclaimed angrily, going back to her stalking. "Sitting on a swings and smoking. _Smoking_! _On a children's playground_!"  
"Okay, that's enough." I sighed and stood up. I grabbed Sara by her shoulders and led her to her bed. "Don't we have better things to do than discuss bitchy people?"  
"But…" she protested and tried to get out of my grip, but I didn't let her.  
"No buts, honey. We will start planning our trip to London now," I gave notebook and pen to her and sat next to her. "Or we will leave without any plans. End of discussion."  
"Okay." she sighed giving up and opened the notebook. Her mood changing completely. "So, Al will already be at Malfoy's when we arrive, right?"  
"Yeah." I smiled and we started to plan our month long trip to Britain.

While Sara was writing down our departure and arrival times, I just looked at her. She seemed completely different person to what she was a moment ago. To tell you the truth, she changed always when I brought up this trip. It puzzled me, but I think I knew the reason for it. This past year there has been many letters she got or send that made her smile like silly love sick puppy, but she didn't talk about them. Even when I asked her about them, she didn't tell me. During our friendship she has kept only one secret from me, and I learned it when I learned that I was witch. So, for this excitement there could be only one explanation. Albus Severus Potter. My best friend has a crush on my brother's best friend. I am more than sure about it, though I haven't talked to her about it. She will talk to me when she will be ready.

By the time we were finished with our plans, that would most likely be ruined by the boys own plans, it was almost 6pm. We were really hungry, but we were too lazy to cook anything or go anywhere, so the choice was easy. It was pizza with mushrooms, olives and ham for Sara and pizza with ham, pineapple and blue cheese for me.  
"This is so good." Sara moaned while stuffing her mouth with pizza.  
"Calm down a bit." I rolled my eyes at her while biting little pieces from my pizza. "You will choke on that."  
"But this is so good! Here, try this." she offered me half eaten slice of her pizza, but I just shook my head. "As you wish."  
"Everything is delicious for you when you are hungry." I pointed out. "And you are always hungry."  
"Shut up!" she threw mushroom from her pizza at me and I just laughed.  
"Mushroom?" I laughed and put down my slice of pizza.  
"Yes, msuhroom!"  
"Well, try this!" I shouted, grabbed a pillow from her bed and threw it at her. And soon we had full blown pillow fight.

"I yield, I yield!" Sara shouted after fifteen minutes of our pillow fight. Truth is, it wasn't surprising. You see, when it comes to pillow fights, no one can win me. No one. Surprising fact was that she lasted fifteen minutes, when usually she yield after five minutes or so.  
"I do not accept that!" I threw one more pillow at her, but she managed to escape for it.  
"I said I yield!" she screamed and rushe out of the room. I grabbed empty glasses and followed her into the kitchen laughing.

"Okay, okay." I smiled at her and put the glasses in the dishwasher. "What shall we do now. Movies?"  
"You sure you won't throw any pillows at me?" she eyed me suspiciously. I nodded. "You break that promise all the time."  
"I'm the best, right?" I grinned. "But you are lucky today, I'm kinda tired to run around like crazy little girl with the pillows."  
"Good. And movie sounds good. Lord of the rings?"  
"Again?" I looked at her. I know it's like her favorite movies, but I was kind of bored with those movies.

Before Sara could answer me, I heard some voices outside the apartment.  
"Did you hear that?" I asked looking in the hallway, at the front door.  
"Heard what?" Sara was standing next to me, puzzled and looking at me.  
"I swear someone…" But I couldn't finish my sentence, because this time the voices were loud and clear. _Eleanor Kerr? _I rushed to the front door and opened it, but before I could say anything, I froze.

There was two police officers, a man and a woman, standing before our front door. They both did turn around at the sound of opening the door and we stared at each other.  
"Can… Can I help you?" I asked in whisper, bad feeling settling on the bottom of my stomach.  
"Me etsimme Eleanoria, joka asuu tässä asunnossa.**" the man said to me in Finnish and pointed at our apartment.  
"It's… It's me." I answered in English. The feeling that had settled in my stomach didn't let my brains switch to Finnish right now. The officers exchanged puzzled looks.

"You don't speak Finnish?" woman spoke to me in English.  
"I do, but I prefer English. It's my native language." I cleared my throat. "How can I help you?"  
"Could we come in?" woman asked. I looked at Sara, who was standing next to me completely lost, opening and closing her mouth. The bad feeling inside of me grew stronger and stronger. _Help me,_ I begged her with my eyes. And finally she found her voice.

"Yes, yes. Of course, come in." Sara managed to say and I let the officers walk past us.  
"You better sit down, miss Kerr." the women told me once they were inside.  
"Sit? Why?" I looked from one officer to another and then at Sara and then back at the officers.  
"Come in the kitchen. I'm sure we can talk there." and then Sara was leading me into the kitchen and the officers followed us. She made me sit on the chair, taking one next to me herself. For a moment no one said anything.

"Miss Kerr, we are really sorry." the woman broke the silence.  
"This… This doesn't sound good." I was starting to panic now. _What the hell was happening_? "Not good at all."  
"There was an incident at the hospital." the women continued. _What kind of incident,_ I wanted to shout, but suddenly I couldn't find my voice. Panic and fear was too strong for me to speak. I looked at Sara, who looked back at me.  
"What kind of incident?" Sara asked for me and I looked back at the officers.

"Today police was chasing drug dealer, who happened to be user as well, but it ended badly and the man ended in the hospital. He tried to run taking one nurse as a hostage, to serve as human shield. This nurse was your mother." the woman told us looking at me.  
"Is my mum okay? She is okay, right?" I jumped up and looked at Sara. She was covering her mouth with her hands. She was looking at me, her eyes wide open. I turned to look at the woman again, tears rolling down my cheeks. Please, please… Tell me she's okay. Tell me that my mum is okay!

But before the woman could answer my question, I already knew the answer. There was only one reason why police officers would be here. There was only one reason why they would ask me to sit down before telling anything. I just refused to believe it.

"I'm sorry Eleanor. Your mother is dead."

* * *

_* Well, speak then Finnish, you freak!_  
_** We are searching for Eleanor who lives in this apartment._

* * *

**A/N: So, this was it. I think it did suck a bit, maybe a lot (lol), but I still hope someone did like it.**  
**Reviews? Pretty please?**

_Asta B._


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